Currently Listening Restored By Jeremy Camp see related

Well, even this old geezer knows that word on the street is that xanga is out and myspace is in but heck....I was doing good to join xanga....and since when do truly cool people care what's in or out!  ..lol.  So I'll give it another shot since I really miss sharing what God is doing in my life!

I would have to say that the past month has been a HUGE growing experience for me.  Just when you think you have really gotten somewhere with a weakness the Lord shows you that there is ALWAYS room to grow more like Him.  This month I feel like I have gone at least 10 layers deeper on BOUNDARIES!  The old me had so much pride, untamed mercy and martyrdom that it was a no brainer to see that God had things to straighten out in me.  But I really felt like I had gotten somewhere.  Then this past month He unexpectantly took me much deeper on this issue.  He has shown me that even with pure motives boundaries can get fuzzy and very abused.  So here I sit with a lot of lessons learned but still uncertain just what He has planned for me with the giftings He has given me. 

Maybe this is just for me, but maybe someone else can benefit from this madness... 

I have learned that He gives an extra measure of mercy to some and that this can be a really good thing but in my flesh I feel like it has burned me in so many different ways that the human side of me wants to just shut it down on occasion to protect myself.  To be more black and white with people....unafraid to call them on their junk and have the whole, "SHAKAKHAN, feel for you attitude"  and then move on.  But I know deep down I would be miserable being like that.  It just isn't how He made me.  So, I find myself back at the drawing boards asking Him to once again show me the balance.  To show me the difference between condoning and understanding.  To know when to love a person no matter what and when to let them go in love. 

I think the funniest thing is that for the past week my husband, to anyone that knows him.....THE NUT.....has been totally tongue in cheek, trying to convince me of is that deep down he is a very sensitive person........ok, that is HILLLARIOUS.....He jokes that he has just never been able to be his real self.....then after we laugh for 10 minutes on that one he resorts to his favorite line over the last 13 years of our marriage....."Julz, you are a victim magnet and I am victim repellent!"  So I guess God often does give you your opposite to balance you out! :)  Thank the Lord for that!  Makes for some interesting nights around our house but I can't imagine living with someone like me!  ha!

On a more serious note, I am grateful to be going through this learning experience.  It's never easy to be hurt but in those times we can either go deeper into flesh or deeper into Him.  I choose Him!  Having no clue what lies ahead I can rest in knowing that the growth will only better equip me to serve Him in my gifts and true purpose....that always has to rock!

Much love and GOD bless you!  PLEASE bless me with how to pray for you and what He is doing in your life!

 Been awhile since I've updated....oops!  Seems like I've got a lot of different things going and in my down time I'm really DOWN(as in WIPED OUT)!    I'm really excited though b/c over the last week I've had a chance to have 2 pretty deep conversations about my beliefs with both my dad and my little sister!  The fact that my sister would even stay on the line was a miracle much less respond in a receptive manner!  I was too pumped! 

I guess the main thing the Lord is working on me with is 2 tim 2:20 where it talks about keeping yourself pure so that you can be a instrument ready to be used for HIS purpose.  I really find a lot of rest in that.  It isn't as much about what I GO OUT and accomplish as it is handling what He gives me for each day obediently.  It's amazing how many different ways our flesh is tested. But there is just something really sweet to me about being at a place where I am believing for a LOT OF really BIG things and at the end of the day I'm still able to say, "I'm certain I'm in Your will, can't wait for tomorrow."  For me, I've always been overwhelmed with everything there is FOR ME TO FIGURE OUT AND DO!  I've missed a lot of life in that madness. 

My new favorite song says:

'Over and over and over again I will stir up my soul  to lay hold of You.

Over and over I will stir up my soul to lay hold of that which I cannot comprehend.

and then I'll just lean in the Sovereignty

and I'll embrace a Mystery

and I'll just rest in You

as I bathe in Truth.

This is my simple devotion.....my walk of faith.

Currently Watching 24 - Season Two see related

Just finished playing a board game with the fam and having a drawing contest.  Needless to say, it was rigged and somehow the boys swept both events.  yada!

I heard something today that really has me thinking.  I haven't had time to sit and really meditate on it, look up scriptures etc. so I'll keep it brief...

~Your focus will determine your ability to receive from the Lord.

The preacher was talking about how the only power a memory, a wrong done to you, evil, etc has over you is the power YOU GIVE IT.  It was really right on with lots of other teachings I've heard.....along the lines of taking authority over such things etc but then he said....

Faith is possible when you exercise your ability to GET RID of things in your mind. 

Seriously think about that.  Everything about walking by sight is misleading.  The devil would love for us to summarize the success of each day based on the sight of our circumstances and the opinions of those around us.  But today when I heard that it really struck a chord in me b/c it's like my faith has grown in DIRECT PROPORTION with my ability to get rid of many things that I use to focus on....

when someone was rude.....it use to infuriate me

when someone was self centered it drove me nuts

when someone was RELIGIOUS I couldn't see straight

when someone felt the church should cater to them I would get so stinkin mad I would lose MY focus...basically all of these things had a stronger influence on me than my ability to stay focused on HIM.

The more that I have learned to focus my attention on ONE thing and let the others fall to the side the more my faith has had room to grow. 

Probably DUH to many of u but for me I am really amazed with how much training it takes to have a GODLY mind.  It definitely is not human nature. 

If you feel like you have pretty good control of yours take a test I took not long ago.  See how many times you catch your mind wandering the next time you try to listen to a sermon/lecture etc.  Anyone honest would admit it takes training.

Much love to all!  God bless!

Currently Reading Greater Works: Experiencing God's Power By Smith Wigglesworth see related

Merry Christmas everyone!

Just deleted an entire entry!   I decided NOT to put u through a serious deep thought!..no need to thank me....I'll work it out alone, HA!  

I hope that every one had an amazing Christmas.  If you don't have kiddos yet just get ready...nothing is like watching your kids on Christmas.  Ethan LITERALLY woke us up with these words (he had crawled in bed with us during the night)...."COME ON GUYS GET UP I'VE WAITED FOR THIS DAY ALL YEAR!"  It was awesome. 

So we just got back from Chris' parents house where we had a great time.  Ethan found a jaw bone from a cow with teeth on it stillin the woods.....joy!  Needless to say, I'm disgusted and it is wrapped up in a sack and came home with us.  What we will do for kids!

Gonna wrap it up and hit the hay...just thought I'd update this thing!

I wont go into my deep thought other than to leave the scripture for u think on....

Why Tell Stories?

Matthew 13: ¹⁰The disciples came up and asked, "Why do you tell stories?"

    ¹¹He replied, "You've been given insight into God's kingdom. You know how it works. Not everybody has this gift, this insight; it hasn't been given to them. ¹²Whenever someone has a ready heart for this, the insights and understandings flow freely. But if there is no readiness, any trace of receptivity soon disappears. ¹³That's why I tell stories: to create readiness, to nudge the people toward receptive insight. In their present state they can stare till doomsday and not see it, listen till they're blue in the face and not get it.

Currently Watching Peanuts Holiday Collection (A Charlie Brown Christmas/A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving/It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown) see related

Lately I've been noticing just how many people are seriously grumpy and in a chronic bad mood!  I was just telling Chris how dang SAD that is to me!  Sometimes people that have a problem with being way too fake and perky  can wear me out but at least they are faulting on the 'it's NOT about ME' side of things. 

Have you ever noticed that if you were to stand in a room and one by one people you knew walked up to you....you would probably have a thought about each person as they approached you. 

Such as,

"OH I HAVEN'T SEEN HER IN SOOO LONG! COOL!" 

or

"OH greaaaat, here SHE comes, she's always in such a foul mood." 

Just think about the people you know.....you can probabaly fit them in a 'builds me up' or 'wears me out' category. 

Now think about it....

WHAT DO PEOPLE THINK WHEN

YOU ARE WALKING UP TO THEM? 

One more thought to ponder....

When you walk into a room are you thinking....

"HERE I AM!"

or

"There YOU are!"

Just a thought.